I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
