I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
