I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
