4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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