You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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