That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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