She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The adults are the big ones right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
