I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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