You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
