she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
