I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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