3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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