Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
