Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
