I hate your face
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
