Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
