I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
