Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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