You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
