used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
