when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
