and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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