So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
