I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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