listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How does one acquire holy water?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize