No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
