Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
