the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
