u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
