My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
