it's too hot outside to masturbate.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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