Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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