I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
