Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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