My nipple is on Facebook.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I will pee on everything he values.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
