I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pants are for mortals
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
