your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
