Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
