i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
