It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
