What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
