I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
