I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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