guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
