but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
