y did u give ur computer a hand job?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
