it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
