You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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