I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dicks are not precious.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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