I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
