the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
