And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
