Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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